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The days passed rather slowly, probably because I couldn’t stop thinking about a certain person. Each day I wondered what she would be doing now, where about she was.
Theo knew I was distracted most of the time, which I think is why he didn’t hang around with me much this week. Who could blame him, the only persons company I really wanted was Tina’s…
The day I spent with her had been perfect, I was now sure she liked me too. She was incredibly attractive and had a lovely personality. I could see myself settling down with her in the future, in a nice house, with little kids running around…
No, I had to snap out of it, I was getting way to ahead of myself here. I would wait and see what happened. After all, we had only met two times.
But today was the day, I had just got of the train and was walking down the street towards her hotel. We had text most days, not a lot but enough.
I walked into the hotel and there she was waiting for me. She took my breath away, she was wearing a red dress which hugged her curves perfectly. I noticed she had a jacket draped over her arm in case she needed it this time.
I walked over to her and when she saw me she smiled, I kissed her lips gently as I reached her and put my hands on her hips.
‘You look stunning.’
She blushed and thanked me, I loved it when she went all shy like this.
‘You ready to go?’
I put my arm around her waist and she done the same as I guided her out.
We got on the train and sat down really close to one another, I kept my arm around her. She was worse than I was when I first came to Germany, her nose almost pressed up against the window like a proper tourist.
‘I’m guessing you’ve never been to Germany before?’
‘Nope, this is my first time abroad actually, but my parents have been here before.’
‘You’re first time abroad? Really? And here you are going across the country with a man you’ve just met, are you crazy?’
I said slyly, she laughed and looked at me smiling.
‘Yep, I must be crazy.’
She then leaned closer to me and pressed her lips to mine lingering.
The journey passed quick, we arrived in Dusseldorf and I took her to the venue where I got her a backstage pass and we went through to the dressing room to catch up with the band.
I introduced her to everyone and they all seemed to like her so far, I was relieved. I could tell she was slightly anxious and nervous, who could blame her. After all she was around people she didn’t know, in a country she had never been to before.
I put my arm round her again and pulled her closer to me; giving her a light squeeze on her side to comfort her.
Theo then came over to us grinning away like an idiot. I glared at him to try and not make things awkward.
‘You wanting a drink you two?’
‘Yeah usual. What about you Tina?’
‘Oh just lemonade please.’
‘Do you not drink alcohol?’
‘No I do… I just… em, ok then. Gin and Tonic please.’
She looked a bit unsure and nervous for some reason. I didn’t think much of it at the time.
Theo went and got us both a drink, we had a few then it was time for us to go on stage.
‘Do you want to watch from the side or in the crowd?’
‘Alright if I watch from the side?’
I gave her a quick kiss on the lips and rushed on stage.
Tonight’s show was probably one of the best, Theo’s voice was on top form and I felt like I had so much energy I could have played for hours. I glanced over a couple of times to where Tina was stood, she was singing along and watching me intently.
I flashed her a smile as I carried on playing.
After the show was finished I rushed off stage straight to Tina, grabbed her and lifted her off her feet and spun her round. She giggled as I placed her back down on the ground and kissed her.
‘Get a room you two.’
Theo shouted as he walked past us smirking. We laughed and ignored him.
Once we had showered and got changed we all went down the road to a pub and started the party.
It was mainly dance music, Tina dragged me up onto the dance floor, we had both consumed quite a lot of alcohol so our moves were all over the place. We got pretty close a few times, my hands on her hips as she swayed along to the music.
She turned to face me and our hands entwined in one an others and we jumped around, we let it all go and had some fun.
It was getting really late and we were both really drunk. We stumbled out onto the street outside the pub.
‘Is there trains at this time of night?’
‘I don’t think so no. Why don’t you just stay with me in my hotel?’
Our speech was slightly slurred from the alcohol and my head was spinning a little but I could still see and think… Kind of. For a second she looked a bit anxious but then smiled and nodded.
‘I don’t bite… Much.’ I winked at her. She laughed and took my hand as we started to head back to my hotel.
We must have been quite a sight to anyone passing by us, two drunken people stumbling along the road laughing away.
We finally made it into my room, I flicked on the light switch and she sat down on the edge of the bed her head in her hands and groaned.
‘The room is spinning. I haven’t drank that much in ages.’
‘Me either to be honest, hold on I’ll get us some water.’ I said cheerily.
I turned around to walk into the bathroom but walked into the wall instead.
‘Who put that wall there?’
I just heard giggling from the bed. I glared at the wall and went into the bathroom and grabbed two glasses of water, spilling a lot on my way back to the bed. When I got there, Tina was lying on the bed her head on the pillow and she was half asleep.
I placed her glass on the bedside table and stroked her hair.
She just mumbled, too tired and drunk to do anything. I decided I was still capable to help her out. I took of her shoes gently and then pulled the blanket up over her and tucked her in.
I took of my shirt and climbed into bed next to her. I lay close to her and she turned on her side to face me and smiled. I placed my hand on her cheek and we kissed gently.
She shuffled even closer to me and I wrapped my arms around her and we snuggled up close and she fell asleep. Lust was overpowering me but I resisted, she was drunk and I didn’t want to take advantage of her. Or at least her to think that I was. I closed my eyes and let sleep take over me aswell.
I had been awake for half an hour, Tina was still curled up in my arms. She looked so peaceful when sleeping and so adorable.
I stroked her cheek softly to try and wake her. I thought it would have been rude to scream in her face, shake or punch her like I did when Theo was being an ass and refused to get up.
She didn’t move much so I planted a kiss on her forehead and then she moved and opened her eyes, she looked at me and for a second a flash of fear flashed across her face but then changed to nervousness.
I started to worry. Had I done something wrong?
‘Are you ok?’
She still looked shocked and she sat up, her breathing was slightly quicker and she looked down as though she was looking at her dress. I was really confused, what had I done?
I sat up next to her and placed my arm around her, she was very tense.
‘Did… Did anything happen. Last night? I don’t remember. I remember coming into here with you but I don’t remember anything else.’
‘No nothing happened, you flopped on the bed and I took of your shoes and we curled up and slept. I would never have taken advantage of you like that, we were drunk, it wouldn’t have felt right.’
I rubbed her arm soothingly and I felt her relax a lot more. Did she really think I would have taken advantage of her? As much as I would love to have sex with her, it wouldn’t have been right. People do stupid things they regret when drunk.
But did this mean she didn’t want to go further with me? Did she want to be with me at all?
I looked at her confused, she looked genuinely grateful for some reason.
‘For looking after me, for treating me like a human being, taking me back here and not just leaving me to find my own way back.’
Now I was even more confused, I felt a little hurt in a way, did she think I was some sort of monster that was just going to leave her on the street drunk?
‘I would never do anything to hurt you darling, I really care about you Tina.’
I said as I tilted her chin so she was looking at me.
She smiled but I could tell she was lying, there was something still not right.
‘Come on tell me please, I’m not a mind reader. I want to know what you’re feeling and thinking. Please.’
I then took her hands in mine and rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand.
‘Well… When I turned 18, I was out partying and having fun with my friends a lot. Living life really, then when I was 19 I met this guy one night. He seemed really nice and we got talking and spent most of the evening dancing with each other and talking. Then at the end of the night, I was so drunk and he was too but not quite as bad as I was. He took me back to his place instead of me going home by bus. We got inside and one thing led to another really… I didn’t really want it, but I was drunk and my mind was going haywire so I just went along really. Didn’t refuse him or try and stop. But it was what happened after that made me really regret that night the most. He just chucked me out of his house once he was finished with me. I had never felt so used before, he took my virginity from me, I was drunk and vulnerable and he just chucked me out like a piece of shit.’
She looked as though she was away to cry, I held her hands tighter. Now I understood why she was so nervous when she woke, she was scared to be used again.
‘That’s horrible. What happened after? Did you get home safely?’
‘Luckily my auntie lived just round the corner so I stayed at hers… But ever since then I haven’t went out much, only now and then. When I did I wouldn’t drink alcohol, I was too scared that a repeat of that night would happen. If a guy came to speak to me I would just not be interested at all.’
‘That’s why you were unsure about drinking last night isn’t it?’
‘Yeah it is. But I guess, I trust you. So that’s why I drank and had a really great time like I used to.’ She smiled.
I felt even more love for Tina, how vulnerable she was, I just wanted to hold her and never let go, protect her from the world.
‘I would never ever do anything to hurt you, and I would never chuck you out on the streets.’
‘I know. I’m sorry I was so paranoid when I woke up. I just’
I placed my finger on her lips.
‘Shh, you don’t need to explain. I understand.’
I tilted her chin up and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. She smiled and pulled me closer for another kiss.
We lay back down on the bed holding each other, she was drawing light circles on my chest sending shivers through me and making the hairs stand up on end.
We lay in bed for a few hours just talking and cuddling. Then I had to take her back to her hotel, her parents would be worried about her.
On the train she looked a bit sad.
‘I don’t want to go home tonight. When will I see you again?’
‘Well, I was wondering, only if you want to that is… Whether you would like to come to Manchester next week for the weekend?’
I hoped she would come along, I didn’t want to be apart from her either.
‘I would love to.’